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Domestic Violence

My best friend is battered

02/04/2009

Question:

By keeping quiet about my friend being abused, I felt I was allowing and participating in the abuse. She has distanced herself from her friends, she is not forthcoming, but when the cycle gets bad she does run to me for comfort and understanding.

Seeing her with black eyes made me fear for her life and I decided I was going to tell her sister, so she knows if and when something dire happens. Now my friend is angry with me, that I made things worse, I feel bad, but it was care and concern for her.

Since I told I guess it is too late, should I have told or not?

Answer:

You are to be applauded for your efforts. Many times we do not take action but sit back--and "dire things"' DO happen. You spoke up because you care, and you were worried about your friend's safety. You were clearly concerned about her physical and emotional health.

Perhaps you felt morally obligated to speak up, which is a good thing. Sometimes we don't know what to do in these situations. We often look the other way and fail to take action. You did just the opposite, and you are to be commended.

Sometimes women who are in abusive relationships need this type of support and education about battering relationships. Your action may save her life. Continue providing support and let your friend know that you shared this information because you care.

For more information:

Go to the Domestic Violence health topic, where you can:

Response by:

Cathy   McDaniels-Wilson, PhD Cathy McDaniels-Wilson, PhD
Adjunct Professor
Department of Sociology
The Ohio State University