Question:

I have been depressed for a number of years. I was married to an emotionally abusive husband for 19 years. During this time is was diagnosed with breast cancer followed by a lympectomy and chemo and radiation. In addition we had just adopted a little girl from China who was 6 months old. We already had a biological 8=year old child. In the following years I had a hip replacement, divorced by husband because he was seeing a number of woment and was emotionally abusive. JThen I had my other hip replaced. Ibe month later I was diagnosed with breast cancer again and underwent a mastectomy and two reconstructive surgeries. Last year I suffered a potential TIA and spent a week in the hospital for testing. During the course of the tests, a nodule was discovered on my lung (yes, I did smoke.)I had 30% of one lobe removed and found that the entire area was now clean. Throughout this entire ordeal, I continued my job as a special needs teacher and raised my daughter in college (my husband refused to give any money for her education) and my junir high daughter. I have no sick leave left in my job. My aides have been reporting any mistakes I make in the classroom. One aide is training to be a teacher and would eventually want my job. jThe environment at work is horrid with tension. I am just sitting and crying and don`t know what to do. I have thought of suicide but donjjj`t have the courage. My entire world is crumbling but where do I begin to make repairs when I only have energy to sit on the couch and cry. Where do I go for help? I feel so defeated. I know that there is an educated, take-control somewhere in this body, but where? Please help me. At my annual job I was told that my supervisor just about didn`t renew my contract because of my attendance. Instead, He is moving me to a new position (which may work out better since I will be working with different aides.) But I`m not even sure this is the direction I want to continue. I have worked in Early Childhood for 25 years. Sorry for the rambling but this is my mindset at the present time. Thank you for listening

Answer:

I’m so sorry to hear of your current status and thoughts of suicide. I’m afraid NetWellness experts do not provide the necessary services to help you to combat how you are feeling. However, as suicide is often a sign of extreme distress but also one that can be treated, I would strongly encourage you to do one or more of the following things as soon as possible:

1. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 (website: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help/default.aspx), which is free, confidential and staffed by trained counselors who are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

2. Contact a mental health specialist in your area who can help you work through your problems.  

Take care of yourself and  good luck.

For more information:

Go to the Depression health topic.